Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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