how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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