Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
