He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Drake has all the answers
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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