thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
