how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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