he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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