have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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