Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My ass is underappreciated
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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