Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize