What did we do last night that was yellow?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I need water and some morals
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
