32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
They have beer where we have blood.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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