that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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