so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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