is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
