Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
