there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
