I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
