My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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