Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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