Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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