It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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