I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
