I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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