The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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