WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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