Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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