all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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