i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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