i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
