I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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