So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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