Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Randomize
