Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
