just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
