..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
