Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
