Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
