Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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