So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
