I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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