I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Randomize
