i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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