But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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