so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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