can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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