hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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