why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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