I want to stick my p in your. b.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
