we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
this will be a night to untag.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize