He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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