i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
