After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
