just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
