i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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