so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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