its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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