I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
