problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
