I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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