I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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