Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
