Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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