we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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